I had a dream last night. I dreamt of two women who were being very mean to a young girl. I knew one was the mom and the other was her partner. The woman who was yelling was so angry. What really bothered me was seeing how this young girl of maybe 12 or 13 years old, cowering down trying to make herself smaller. I sat in my car, and I had a fight within myself. I was taught to mind my own business to let it be. But the more I watched this little girl, and how she was trying so hard to get away, I knew what I had to do!
I got out of the car and yelled at the woman, ” why are you breaking her heart?” The lady looked at with such hatred, and I knew that it was my time to educate her about loving the self. Her anger was not for that little person, her anger was in the way she was treated as a young girl. I am sure her mom had abused her, not on purpose but by default.
The woman turned her anger on me, and I was okay with that. I being who I am, I knew that my love for myself and my compassion because of where I had come through would help this angry woman out.
She started to get up into my face, so I went up against her, it was better she takes her anger out on me than that poor innocent child. What child deserves to be beaten down with some much hate? Whatever could that child have done to deserve the public embarrassment, as this child was taking on?
I asked this of the woman. I yelled in her face, ” did this wonderful sweet child kill someone, hurt her as badly as she was destroying this young girl, or was this anger from her past story of when she was abused as a child?”
I woke up at this point. I was frustrated because I see this happen more times than not. I see mothers in stores who are tired, overwhelmed, and then take out their frustration on their kids. Who the hell do you think you are, to kill these babies love for themselves? Why do they not take a breath and stop for one GD moment and look deeper into their frustrations and see that it is a hate program they are running?
My mom would beat the living shit out of us as soon as we got out in public. I never could understand her hatred( until recently). I wondered why she even took us out in society? Life was so stressful being around her, she was never a kind or caring mom in any way. Her answer to everything was a beating. I know her mom did the same thing to her. I wonder if my mom knew she was breaking our hearts with every mean, hurtful look or word, would she had changed? I doubt she would because she had no love for herself. If she had loved herself, she would never have treated us like she did, no matter what we were doing.
As parents, we stick our heads in the sand because of our own messed up life, we go around with no thought other than what we have to do next. We have no cares about what we are doing to others because we are not even kind to ourselves. It isn’t until we wake up from the matrix that we genuinely see the destruction we are causing. So here is your wake up call. YOU ARE HURTING YOUR KIDS!! YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF!! If I can reach just one person with this story, then I know there is hope for this world.
We are destroying our planet by not loving ourselves. We are being ruled and schooled by corporations that have no care about us. We are putting our trust in others and not trusting ourselves. If you truly loved yourself, you would eat better, take better care of your little loves, and treat the world better. Instead, you go off to work hating your life, regretting your life, make bad food choices, listen to the dogma of the church, and send your kids to school to be dummied down. How do I know this>>> because I did the same thing for years until my body revolted on me and my kids started to hate me. I taught them to hate why wouldn’t they reciprocate that?
If you want to stop the family curse, you have to start with you first. How long has it been since you really looked deeply in your eyes and told yourself that you are lovely? Do you look in the mirror and smile, or do you just walk by without even looking? Do you really see you as you walk by a big glass window and stop and say…” hey beautiful you are kick-ass today?’ I bet the majority of you only look in the mirror long enough to appraise, judge, and hope you look good enough to be ignored. I lived like that for longer than I would like to admit. ( there isn’t a time now that I don’t stop, while in the bathroom, to smile, make faces and give myself a pep talk)
I am going to take the next month here and walk through all that I am doing to help change my life and love the wonderful, splendid person I know I am. I hope you will join me on this next adventure. HEY… I got a new FB page called WitchenanBitchen come check us out. It is all about loving yourself.