“It is not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Lou Holtz
These past couple of weeks have been really hard on me. My Chronic Lyme has been acting up, and the new herbal cocktail I was trying made things worse. Yes, Herbs can have an adverse effect sometimes. Especially when we are working with a chronic illness. The side effects due to the disease dying off. It can and will make you toxic. So I had to change my herbal mixture once again. That is the sad thing about this disease it is ever changing it is so smart, and it’s one goal in this lifetime. To survive. To bad that is the same program I am running.
So how do we become one with our disease? How do we learn how to not be such killers? One thing that Reiki and Lyme are teaching me is that you must learn to flow with that which surrounds me. If I can bend and sway like the weeping willow, then I can get through the rougher times of life. Everything in life has the same memo.
“As I go through all kinds of feelings and experience in my journey through life, delight, surprise, charm dismay– I hold this question as a guiding light: “what do I really need right now to be happy?’ What I came to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection, and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.” Sharan Salzberg
I love the way RuPaul put it the other day about life, I was watching him on Watch what happens Live with Andy Cohen. He was talking about the way the world is today, with the government shut down. The pendulum of life is always swinging, The pendulum has gone this way for now, but it will turn back the other way. When we are in a rough place in this world, we need to remember that things will swing back to a better place. They always do.
The biggest challenge I seem to face is all the past that has come bubbling up and made quite a stink in my life. It is all the sludge I have packed down over and over trying not to have to face it. There are times I just can’t see any end but the stinky end of the cesspool that has emerged into my life. I hate those days!! It is so hard to remember that I am here to love and learn, not to suffer from my choices. Yet, that is the very thing that comes to mind as I try and understand why some people do what they do. I am constant now in reminding myself that I did not create this mess so there is nothing I can do but bend and sway in the winds of these challenges.
No matter how hard I try to move in any direction, I can only go as far as the rope of non-resolution allows me to—- and it’s usually a very short rope. I have a hard time with non-resolution. I hate to have problems hanging over my head. I read that the reason the rope is short is that our soul inevitably gravitates back to the scene to restore harmony and reach a resolution. I find that Reiki is really efficient in this as well. While that may be what we want to do, there are rules of engagement here on this EArth playing field that can keep us from resolution. The spirit of Free will. I can not make someone see what is so apparent. I can not help someone who doesn’t want to see things from a different perspective.
So when those situations come up, I have to talk to my heart and help it understand that if it were under my control, I would do something about it in a jackrabbit minute!!
My soul aches for that place where there is no discord where we all see that we come from the same place and that we are here to heal and help one another. I cry for the way this world has become, there are very few who can see the whole picture. Those of us who can weep for those who can not.
Reiki is helping me to deal with all the storms of this world. There are times that all I can do is picture myself as that lovely, weeping willow, blowing in the storm just enjoying the way I move to and fro. I can not control the weather I can only control how I weather it. I can not control the masses I can only help those who awaken. It is hard I tell you!!! It is so hard not to want to rescue and protect the mindless the blindest. Reiki helps to remind me that it is not my job to make or do for others. I am here to help guide and love. The most loving act is to allow all to find their own way on this journey, called life.
As I look back at my week off of social media and reflect on my past healings, I can say this from my heart. I made it a bit chewed up and heartbroken, but I did make it!!
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Lou Holtz