I woke up this morning in high spirits… sort of. I am exhausted and really wanted to sleep, but my pup was asking to go out. I got up and let them all out, as I went back to the house to make some tea I was hit with such terrible pain in my ribs. Mind you it has been a while since I suffered one of these pains. Yet it sent me down a spiral staircase of despair. I hate the pain that I have to endure, I hate that I am not well 100% of the time. I hate being tired of the crap in my life. I hate not being happy all the time. I hate that I get down on myself for being tired, in pain and being disconnected with life!! I know that it wasn’t all the pain but what the pain brought up. SO I am having an I am so tired of the ugly in this world Rampage!!
Rampages help us get back to that place of feeling more in control of how we react to the world around us. If more people learned to allow, themselves to have a rampage the world would be a much better place. There are two different rampages, there are the hate rampages and there are the grateful rampages.
I have tried to keep off social media. No tv and even the radio is a no no! Yet the crap of the world still keeps seeping in through the cracks in my defense. As I laid there on my bed this morning allowing my CBD oil to take effect on my severe pain, I became angry! I could have felt sorry for myself, in fact, I felt myself heading that way. My pain was a big wake up that I had some issues I was suppressing and it was time for them to manifest. Yet I didn’t want to go into despair, I wished to gain my control back on how I felt. I am not perfect, and no matter how much I try to live in a positive world, the SHIT of the world has a way of creeping in. So instead of trying to jump from one extreme to another, that being I jump from despair to happiness, which is not going to happen. I started to HATE those things that were bothering me.
I am more or less a recluse in my own home because I can not stand the negativity that has permeated this world. I hate those who claim to be friends, and then they become to busy to keep in touch. This world has become one big disconnect in my opinion. There is no love for those around us, it has become a standard practice to become disassociated with our fellow brothers and sisters. I hate FACEBOOK, for the way it has become nothing but a like button! I only like FACEBOOK to see recipes, everything else about it is garbage!!
I am so tired of seeing on facebook about the ills of the world… NO, I hate hearing about the mass shooting. I hate seeing kids who are walking out of schools because of a delusional thought that guns kill. I feel the school system has literally dummied down our children!!
I am tired of my daughter being stupid and hurting my family and me. I hate her for taking my granddaughter away. I hate that she has her head in lies and won’t face that she is hurting others because of the lack she feels in herself. I hate myself for not being able to slap the stupid out of her. I hate that she has the right to falsely accuse me and I can’t beat the stuffing out of her for her lies!!
I have had enough of those in Our Government who hate their lives and so then try to shove their bogus beliefs on to me. I don’t believe in one thing they stand for! I do try and look for the good of what they do, but I have yet to see anything!! I hate that I have to even breath the same air as they do!!
I hate that those who are so delusional about who they are, want to hurt others because of their own lack. If those who are so disgruntled in their lives would take their heads out of their BUTTS and look around maybe the rest of us could gain some reprieve from their stupidity!! Life is so much more than your past gains and losses. My god people God doesn’t choose who will get this or that. YOU DO!!!!!! Here is another fantasy you can take and get a grip about… There IS NO HELL!! The only hell is the one you create!!!
I HATE those who shoot others because they are mad at this or that. TAKE YOUR own life and leave the rest of us alone. YOU hate your life then change it, if you are too lazy to change you then don’t Take it out on rest of us!!
I hate the news there is nothing on there I MEAN nothing that is truthful, even the weather seems to be a made up story.
I hate health gurus! I do I hate them all, they have these stories of how something worked for them but that DON’T MEAN IT WORKS FOR EVERYONE!! STOP listening to others and look for your own truth. BE TRUE TO THY OWN SELF!!!
Yes, this morning has been a rampage of HATE, it also has me feeling more in control and much better. I know in my heart that my non-physical sees the good in all people all things, but the physical that is me right now doesn’t. I get tired, I get mad, I get frustrated, I get to where I need to express the SHITTY of the world. When I do, I get to let it all out and breath a great big sigh of relief. I am nor is anyone else perfect!!
I love my daughter more than words can express, I love my world and all that reside in it. I love to spend quiet days at home, I love long walks in nature, I love soft, gentle breezes in the summer, I love my home, I love my family, I love my life. I needed to let go of those things that were hiding in my mind that I had pushed down trying to keep myself positive. There is no way a human can always be in positive thought, we came here to live in this world of differences, to experience the diversities. That doesn’t mean we won’t lose our shit once in a while. Instead of keeping it all internalized if more or us would have a good old fashion Hate rampage, then just maybe the delusions, the hurting could heal, and life would go on smoother. So I give you permission to lose your shit once in a while, just remember to not camp out there.