What is missing in those self help books

I woke up this morning angry and disillusioned. I love all the energy work I am doing, the spiritual growth but the self-help books lack one massive component in them.  How they really felt as they ventured into their life lesson. They only show how they got from point A to point Z. I would like to know how did they really felt before they got to point Z.

I read all these Self-discovering books, on how to heal, be it holistically, spiritually, metaphysically, in a quantum physics way and the list goes on.  Yet they do not put in there the raw of their emotional state as they find their way to the happy ending.  They put in a very watered down description of what they have gone through, be it from years of limited, fear-based thoughts from past hurts, or from a horrible medical mess up.  They do not tell of the hurts, the feelings of depression, the disillusion they feel as I re and reread these books on how to make my life better.  NO, it is more about how they got there not how they felt getting there. I see it should be, but the me that is reaching out trying to find a way to help my suffering discovers that what they have written, as I put into practice doesn’t really help like it did for the Author in their book. This is as it should be, it was written by them for them, it is not for me per say it is only to be used as a guide, not alive by it manual.  The Same rule applies to all books.

That is why I am writing my own book, it is for me.  I may help someone else as a guide, but it is my life struggles, my lessons, my how I did it book.

The books we read were not written for us they were written for the author unless it is a fictional book, then it is the author’s way of using his or her imagination to tell a story.  I think self-help books give you hope, but they are only there for reference so you have a map of sorts on how you may be able to use the information to help you work through your own issues.  When what is written reside with you-you can see the likenesses in your personal life that can match up with your own hiccups you are moving through in your own life, it helps me feel like I am not alone.  That’s how I think about it.  It is like having a friend you can tell everything to and know that they will have some kind of advice you can take or not take.

I am making leaps in bounds in so many ways, yet I also have to face a big hard reality in my life.  Life changing realities simply put.  I have awakened to the fact that I am living with one person who has helped me to face a reality that I really didn’t want to meet.  I am with someone who drains me always of love, compassionate, and energy.  I feel more drained when around this person, we have nothing in common and the only reason we are together is fear-based thinking thoughts of what we will lose instead of what we will gain.  There is no passion, no friendship, no trust nor any comradery.  I am facing a super big picture that I am much happier when alone than with this person.  I have more energy,  feel happier, feel better about myself, I feel better about me when I am not around them.   I am growing and healing but am finding that this person doesn’t want to share with what I want or I desire.  I have a right to do, share and grow even if the other doesn’t.  It is hard to be selfish at times, but we have to realize we are here to do as well as be with others.  When it becomes too one-sided and not on your side, you have to make a change, or you will grow resentful, depressed, sad, hurt, frustrated, angry, unhealthy.

I have used all these wonderful self-help books to help me to look deeper into me, to heal those things in which have been my limited thinking, my fears, past hurts that may be clouding my heart or judgements, that may have been causing me to see this person as someone who was not nice, yet finding and healing me has helped me to not judge from a limited place I am not judging them at all, I am seeing them in a loving light, from a loving place, and they are not loving they are not giving they are not helping. I am not talking about them helping me, or giving to me or even loving me.  They are not doing those things for themselves.  I love this person very much,  I am even grateful to him and the lessons he has helped me to reach.  My heart though sees someone one who doesn’t want to grow, doesn’t want to reach beyond his limited fear-based thoughts, and my heart won’t let me bury my head in the sand and not see these things anymore.

I am scared, of course, change is pretty scary, but I have to listen to my heart, I can not go back to hiding or distractions.   Right now my mind only sees what I will lose.  When we trust in our heart, my heart sees what I will be gaining, even if I don’t.  I feel sad for the loss I will have to endure because no one likes to be alone, yet I am alone now, there is no connection between us.  It has been gone for years I just didn’t want to believe it, I saw it I just chose not to acknowledge it.  The funny thing is that there has been no fighting, no cursing, no discord at all there were only moments when things will be said that are cutting, hurtful.  Times when no care is given, no compassion, no comfort, the fact that we do not even sit together for dinner or a movie  It is like we are the ghost as we float by one another,  I have brought these things up spoken about these things, and I was met with nothingness.

I am drained around this person, I feel defeated no matter what I do or say.  I don’t see any trying on the others part.   I am tired, I am tired of trying, waiting, praying, pretending.

The first step in healing any issue recognizes the issue, the second step is acknowledging the problem more to yourself than to the other. Remember this is your life lesson, maybe the other person is not ready to see what is happening, you can’t make them know it either. The third step is allowing the issue to be, to many times we find it easier to distract ourselves from the obvious, but once we let the point to be their something changes. The fourth and final is being okay with it.  I am okay with the problem, I am okay with letting it be and knowing that I am okay with the change that needs to happen no matter what it will be.  I am getting out of my way so I can allow my life to change the way it needs to.  I have no idea what will happen, but I am okay with whatever happens.  I believe that what I will be loosing will not be as high as what I will be gaining.  I have found that in just writing what I feel is helping to change my feelings already.  I have gone from despair to hope!

So back to the self-help books, I guess you need to read between the lines, remember they the author had to

A. Recognize their issue or issues

B. Acknowledge these problems to themselves

C. Allow these matters to be there in their life

D. Be Okay with changing these issues no matter how it comes about.

The way they handled it was what they wrote about, and even though they prayed, tapped into their energies, meditated, prayed, loved, quantum physic it.  They allowed whatever it was that they were facing to change them for the better.   I think that we all need to find people to help us to grow, to help us to find our way through our lessons and obstacles, to listen and to share with.  Self-help books help us to not feel alone, to give us a way to try something anything as we go through our lessons.  That being said I sure would like to see just one self-help book where the author writes about how he or she woke up pissed off at the world because they had an epiphany and had no idea what the heck they were doing. We all have days where we don’t know what to do when we finally have to face a truth we have been hiding from for years.

A Happy issue facing day to you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s