I can’t believe almost 100 days have passed, I am down to one week count. I can see some significant changes in some things but not so much in others. I don’t know why some things in life seem to be so slow in transition, others there is no change, and still, in others, there are significant changes.
Let’s see if I can recap a few of the significant changes first. I love and care for me more than I did 100 days ago. I am finding that (others) problems are not about me and that I need to mind my own business. I don’t have to allow anyone to take away my happiness, I can choose to be happy where I am. I can love anyone I want without fear of God striking me down. It’s great to let go and feel every God-given emotion to its fullest. It’s cool to be a hippie, flat land believer, instead of a blind following kool-aid drinker that believes in what the government has taught us.
The best thing I ever did for myself was to forgive and forget everything I was taught by my mom and dad, the school system, government, and church. I let go of the negative, limited thoughts and beliefs and started to heal my past fear-based thoughts.
I found through trial and error that, you can lose a lot of weight just by using a smaller plate as well as cutting your portions in half. Organic, whole foods are yummy once you detox the MSG, GMO, heavy metals from vaccines, and unnatural messed with government food mother nature tries and kills, that government is trying to pass off as food. I don’t trust anything the Fear Death Administration (FDA) says they okay.
Once you detox from all the nasty stuff the government has been passing off as food, you find out that when you drive by a McDonalds, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Burger King it makes you sick just from the smell of it. Thank Goodness someone made pure dark chocolate without the fillers and sugars! I super stoked that Rice cakes can become a meal with just a bit of almond butter and organic pumpkin marmalade.
Staying home and cooking a meal is now cool! It’s ok not to like everyone in your life that it is ok to let them go. I have learned to keep those who make me feel happy, loved and cherished closer and to allow those who don’t go. I don’t have to give my power away to anyone, I do not have to make anyone happy. That when we take care, love and heal or ourselves, it helps the world and those around us. Love starts with you first, giving starts in the home first and foremost.
It’s ok not to like everyone in your life that it is ok to let them go. I have learned to keep those who make me feel happy, loved and cherished closer and to allow those who don’t, GO. I don’t have to give my power away to anyone, I do not have to make anyone happy. That when we take care, love and heal or ourselves, it helps the world and those around us. Love starts with you first, giving starts in the home first and foremost.
Now to the things that really haven’t changed yet and are taking their time. Relationships and Jobs. It seems these two things are the worse when it comes to making a change. I know that I have a hard time giving up on anyone and that I love to feel comfortable. I have found that my mind wants it one way, but my path in life has different plans. I am learning how to balance these things. When things are peaceful and coexisting, I am happy, but when there are fights and discord I want to run! I hate being unhappy but know it is a natural process. Death scares me to Death, but I am learning to find love in that fear. I have found the mind can only see what it will be loosing not what it will be gaining.
I found that I trust in those things I was taught more than I do my own heart. It’s a prolonged process to gain back the trust in yourself, mainly when I have been informed not to trust in myself and my heart. The First awakening is super scary because you wake up to a reality that is ugly and yet you still want to stay there once you know better. You can not though because you do better. You are alone as you find yourself again. It’s not fun being alone. What you once knew as truth becomes the very thing that is an untruth.
The biggest, as well as the hardest changes, are those people around you. You find that there are those who you love with all your heart and they don’t love you. I have seen that there are illnesses out there that take our loved ones away but not in death. That there are people out there that lie, cheat and steal, and they really do not know they are doing these things. There are those loved ones that makeup lies and honestly believe them even when the truth stares them in the face. I have found that those you shared decades with will stab you in the back and hurt you for their own gain. Those are the hardest changes that are the slowest to heal as well as forget.
I am super happy for these 100 days of meditation and self-discovery. I am so glad to finally be able to find the truth. That truth being ME! Do I know it all, have a perceived nirvana, have I found the peace that is promised out there? NO, and guess what?? I never will, I am not here to see the order, I am here to find balance, to discover who I honestly am. Life is not meant to be lived in a shelter of non-emotional beliefs, life is messy and painful. Dream big, expect little. Love with all the passion you desire, don’t settle, be scared, eat healthily, embrace the knowledge that you don’t end here as a human. It is my pleasure, my honor, my journey to find a way to allow, surrender and experience life FULLY!
So my advice to those who are just awakening…Love hard, kiss often, be angry, fly off the handle, makeup quickly, do scary things, take chances every single moment of your Life!