compared to who?

I woke this morning feeling defeated, I stayed in bed and allowed the thought to get bigger and watched as it flowered.  When you stop, get quiet meditate you find out where it is coming from.  I laid there listening to all the reasons I am not unique or good enough.  I watched as my past came up and I could see that I have been competing with the world to gain my self-worth.  Why are we pitted against one another? It starts at home and then gets worse as we go out into society.  I hated to hear that someone did better on something that I did.  I genuinely remember thinking who gives a shit!  As the years went on though I lost my identity and became one of the followers.

I am no better than anyone on this planet, In fact, no one is better than me.  We are all the same, we just have different journeys we chose to experience in this world.   Yet we see this competition all the time, in games, tv shows, at the workplace, churches, schools, you name it there is some kind of competition.  What do we expect to win from our thought of being better, no one gets a free get out of death card! Why is it we feel better if we can be better than someone else?  It’s crazy how jealous we are of one another.  I have yet to see anyone ask this question though.

So here I was lying in bed having all these thoughts of how I lack compare to others, and they are mostly those who I could care less about, but maybe that is the problem.

I started to chant those famous words I was taught ( I love that) and the lack I felt begun to fade.  I kept doing this chant with every paucity I felt coming up over and over.  I am not here to compete with someone else’s thought on who I should be like.  If I am not doing as they do, then cool, great, fantastic, I love that! I don’t need their approval and I sure as hell don’t want to be like them.  I would like to state I don’t want them to be like me either. I am one of a kind, and I love that!!

It’s been so ingrained in us to be like everyone else that we have forgotten what it feels like to be us.  As I said before we are compared to one another at a very early age.  I was taught to be jealous of others, I was to want what they had, not be happy with what I had.   Then the thought of me being more special than others creep into my mind, I was better than those I was comparing myself to, there take that you person who I feel compared to even though you don’t know it!! Hah hah,  How wrong is that, to completely flip a U-turn and think that people should compare themselves to my greatness.? The ego has a way of doing extraordinary things. I laid there and watched as this all went on in my head.

Don’t get me wrong we all need to feel that special place deep inside.  It is the balance I was looking for.  I am unique and special in my own way, just as others out there are unique and special in their own way.  It is to my benefit to help others be their best, or help them find their way to who they indeed are.  I would love the same for them.  I am not in competition, I am not better, I am only sweet, loveable, caring me.

I am grateful for the healing I had this morning, the realization that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. That ego has no idea what is fact and what is fake, it is the heart that helps us get through that mess.  I have lost another past, limited belief, please hang your head in silence as we hear taps being played softly in the distance.

Onward to another thought… I have been studying more in-depth in my field that I love. I live and breath Holistic care, I have been putting that on the back burner for a while here lately, as I allow others out there to catch up with the shift in our health care.  I keep up with my learning of the old ways of health, I know one day I will be needed in helping others learn they have the power to heal naturally.

I can say that I see a significant shift towards alternative methods of health care, which I am so glad to know, the only thing is that most of those coming to this side of the healthcare world, are prescribing herbals as though they were pharmaceuticals.  I hope this stops soon.

I am reading a fantastic manual on cannabis, this is not a new medicine, in fact, it was used in ancient civilizations, world war I and was used up until it was made into a schedule one drug.   I am learning that we have to teach the world about how we need to heal the whole being not just parts of it.  Healing begins when we look into the mind, the body and the spirit.  Cannabis was used to look deeper into the person as a whole, not just to get high. When we meditate we do the same thing, we can step back and see what is going on in a much broader way, more in-depth than when we use machines and blood test only.

Traditional Chinese medicine has used this practice for centuries as well.  When the person is unbalanced, we see illness.  Here in western medicine, we have a real problem with our medical practices.  The medical students are being taught how to use only drug therapy, cutting out parts of the body and have forgotten the compassion of whole body care.

All illnesses can be healed by the body the mind and the spirit, there are no doubts about that, but when we cut, irradiate, chemical burn the body, we kill not only that part that is trying to heal, but we kill those cells that are trying to keep the whole body thoroughly.

I am learning that our health can be changed more by our minds with the help of our food choices. The immunity is the key to how we will age and how well our bodies will be able to fight off diseases.    Want to be as healthy as you can, stop going to fast food restaurants, in fact, any chain restaurant is death, look for places that serve whole organic foods. If you can’t find natural food out, stay home and cook more, if you can’t find time to prepare than that is a big neon sign that you are heading toward trouble with your health.  Cut overtime out and learn how to live within your budget, make a budget.

I speak from experience here, my husband was getting more than 80 hours a week in over time.  Not only did it put us in a higher tax bracket but he was losing his health.  Get outside more, throw your tv away.  I am getting rid of my direct tv as soon as the contract ends this winter.   I don’t watch it anymore, and when I do, I find that I turn the volume down most of the time because the commercials are so wrong.  I am so tired of seeing Pharmaceuticals, shit I don’t eat, and I don’t  need to be shown this crap every 7 minutes!! I refuse to pay extra for a DVR so I can see a show later.  I got lots of important things I can be doing with my time.

Get this since I haven’t been watching tv I have seen where the temperature in my living room is more relaxed.  I can’t believe how much heat this thing can Put out.  I am to the point where I want to delete my facebook account.  If I can find a different way to get information to clients and keep my blog up, I will be removing facebook soon.   Technology is a beautiful thing, so much information at your fingertips, but social media has become a tool of destruction.  Here we see the mess of jealousy, comparisons and a way to bully, instill fear as well as teaching fear based limited thoughts.  I don’t want that coming into my home.  I got on facebook the other day, and most of it was fake news, lies of climate problems, hate for officers, water fights by the Indians, twitters from a president that needs to stop jumping at the false story.  I was so sick to my stomach that I turned off all notifications.

Now I have a cold because of the bullshit on facebook!! Why show this shit, If it doesn’t directly affect me there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.  Want me to write the senators of my state, you got it.  Want me to send you water, you got it.  But to just see the pissy false news that only makes people sick with worry which then turns into real sickness.  NO NO NO!!!

My state of mind today is that I will not compare myself to others, I love who I am, I will do all that I can to help others, without that compromising my health.  I will let go of the fear-based, limited beliefs that are being fed to me from different sources. I will get well using whole body methods.  And I will be sending you all healing thoughts and energies.

Good gravy do we all need a change, and I am starting with… as Micheal Jackson sang it so well.. the man in the mirror ( or woman).

Star energy hugs,


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