My mind and Body HATE me right now!!

Meditation brings up the good, the bad and the ugly!

These are but the ramblings of an awakening person who has found yet again a sharing point in her life.

I have gone to eating more organic but I also put a little bit of a reduction in my amount of food and slowed way down on how I eat.  I still eat plenty but my body isn’t happy with it.  I feel like my blood sugar plummets, yet when I check it, it’s great and really good.  I feel faint so I grab the blood pressure cuff and guess what my blood pressure is better than when I was a teenager. I am eating lots of greens and when I do eat meat its grass-fed no steroids or grain fed.  I eat lots of free ranged organic raised chickens.  Yet my body has been changed due to an illness.  I am at its mercy until I can get my body back to where it can fight this disease.  Yet still with clean foods and water…

 Why am I feeling like I am dying??

Our minds have a lot to do with our health, stresses, old fears, old thoughts, limited thinking and the pressure to get over all the above fast has our minds making havoc with the body.  Think about this the mind control all your automatic responses.  If it gets a hiccup in it, what do you think it will be doing to your body.  Now I know that our bodies cells, hormones, and chemical make-up have a lot to do with keeping our body running as well, but lets say we took a drug that altered those cells, hormone, and chemical make up, then we put on limited beliefs, past fears and stressors of everyday living; that’s a lot of things going on in our bodies.

So when I changed the way I deal with stresses, I take healing herbs to help support and build my immunity, I eat good organic whole foods I am then again changing the way my body works.  So I have what we call the fight or flight response.  I also gravitate back to my past ways of dealing with all the above, and I have more trouble than I ever could imagine.

I also notice as we are going through these rough times how easy it is for others to tell us how we should proceed through it.  LOLO  Really I love all of you who have such great advice but if we are being really honest here, who really wants to hear more of what they should or shouldn’t be doing.  I am bombarded everyday with articles on how and what to eat.

I get to the point where I just sit and stare off in space because I am so overwhelmed.  Thank God for my hero JD sears, and Kyle Cease. I have learned to shut everyone out and engulf myself in my blanket of misery.  NO NO now wait, I will explain that this is a GOOD THING!!

When I see someone comment on what they are going through the very best thing I can tell them is, you’re doing great!!  And they are for them, maybe you know a faster or better way of going through what they are traversing at this time, but it isn’t any of your business.  YOUR business is to let them know they are doing great where they are at.  They need to snuggle deep into what they are feeling, to love it and talk to it.  To be deep and honest with those feeling they are going through.

Example time: I had a four-wheeler accident about a year ago.  I was hurt pretty badly.  As life would have it we have a big group of us heading for the hills tomorrow for a four-wheeler trip.  I want to go, but mind is still hanging onto the old fear, and limited thinking has been kicking my ass for the past two months.  I am really scared of getting hurt again.  I even thought about selling my four wheeler.  But I don’t want to live with past fears and limited thoughts.  I want to enjoy and go on.   I have been working on letting  my past fears go and living in the right here at this moment.  

I watch naked and afraid, I think I do it because there isn’t a night that I am not afraid and in pain.  I wonder why someone would volunteer to go out in the jungle, desert, you name it and want to torture their bodies? If they just keep eating the fast foods and living with the everyday limited, stressful day… they won’t have to go outside their homes.  Why would you want to suffer with what I deal with everyday?  ALL I need to do it take my clothes off and I am there in my own naked and afraid show.   Want to make a show that really scares the crap out of people show all of us as we truly are living in our own homes.  What a horror show that could be?

Those who go on the show want to experience what a lot of  us are experience everyday of our lives.   No I am not writing this to get sympathy.  I am writing it so we can stop the hurt and pain and live the fullness of our life.  WE need sad to be happy and we need depression to full appreciate the joys.  We need to snuggle into that sadness, fear, depression, helplessness feeling.  We need to talk to it and acknowledge it, caress it and love it.  WE need too for our own growth!!

So when you see someone comment on what is happened to them in their life, please please let them know that they are doing great!  Let them know that you are there if they need you.  Then do the most loving thing you can let them be ok with what they are dealing with. I know I’ve preached this before but it needs to be said over and over.  I hope that you understand I am saying this more to me than anything.  I really am!

NOW with that being said, if you have someone come to you for advice by all means give it to them.  I love to help people out and I have to be strong and not go at people with all that I know as a herbalist or Health practitioner mode.  I have to wait till they come to me for answers.  Then I still find that they may not take what I have to say to heart, they may very well go down their own little path.  And I have to be ok with that.  They will get through this in their own time by doing it their own way. There is no right way, there is only your way.

So what will I do about my fear of the four-wheeler trip.  I will sit and meditate, love it and acknowledge it.  I will let it come over me like a soft warm blanket and snuggle deep into that fear and limited thought.  I will sit with it till it has had its say and then goes on.  There isn’t any other way to deal with it.   I love that my mind is trying to protect me, I love that my heart doesn’t want me to settle.

Last thought:

July 5, 2017

Contrary to popular thinking being worthy isn’t something you earn, it’s something you recognize.

And once you do, you won’t be able to think, speak, or behave in any other way than as if what you most wanted was meant to be.

You were born worthy,
The Universe

P.S. And so it shall be.


Quote: My theory is to enjoy life, but the practice is against it

by Charles Lamb








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