I know I am not the only one who has heard this before, but I am going to put it out there today, due to I am having another painful herxing day. There was a time I would go on social media and put my emotional transgressions out among my lovely 40 friends. I saw maybe two respond with words of encouragement and a give me a call we will talk. That was it…. two caring folks? I would be crushed and then rant that I was getting rid of my social media and all those who I don’t hear from in 5 minutes, starting now!!
Really??? What the heck was I doing? Out of those 40 people who I found or they found me through a friend of a friend, has absolutely no idea who the hell I am. God bless them for being open and sharing their vacation pics and the accomplishment of their wonderfully lovely family, but really… they don’t know who I am from that stranger in a grocery store line. Those two who did message me were my kids and one life long friend who sadly isn’t my friend anymore. Laughing. Yet I got all upset and pissed off because they are not running over with words of encouragement and reaching out with calls and get well texts. Do they even have my number? sheesh
When I went on my one-week off-line meditation voyage I got to see who was really there for me in my week of alone time. NO ONE… not even my husband, he has a job and he has a life as well. He wasn’t meant to be my wet-nurse, yet that is what we expect right? We should be there for one another, in the sense of partnership, but not to make my life Disney Land happy. I stay alone nights for quite a long time and I have had nights alone throughout my life.
I hate it!! I miss having someone to sit on the porch with and have a beer and talk. I don’t like being alone. I love being married, and to be honest probably why I put up with way more shit than I should but hey…. that is just who I am.
I raised three kids alone at night, and I am getting through some very painful lonely times at night. So why would I think that being on social media was supposed to be any different?
I feel it is the way social media markets itself to the distracted followers is to show them that there is caring out there. I was being brain washed with the false news, I am living life through reality tv, I am forgetting that I can survive without naked and afraid. Those things we created to keep us distracted from thinking for ourselves. Why why would we want to be distracted from life. You know the answer 1st…. life is messy, and it is oh God should I say it… feel, and emotional and messy, and feel…..Blach Blach…. Not emotional and messy?!
How Dare we have to live with emotions???
Yet we were taught from early on, to knock the shit off. Don’t you cry, stop being so emotional, that’s enough I’ll give you a reason to cry. Children are to be seen not heard. WHY??
I am not calling anyone uncaring. I am saying that we are taught to not think or feel for ourselves, we are taught to think and feel what others think and feel.
When I unplugged I could see how ridiculous it was to post something that was very painful for me in just a couple of lines… because I don’t know about you but when I see a page worth of words come out of the click here to read more, I am so shutting that thing down and walking away: yet we put that sound bite out there and have someone say something callous and off-handed. Then I would go back and tell them that they were wrong and this is what was really happening.
So there take that!!
Why would I be angry and tell them more info and them make them look stupid? I was the stupid and hurtful one in that case. Yet I have been taught that on social media everyone knows everyone and it is the place to find those who care. And everything you read on social media is the truth!! HAHAHAH. OK <— said in a sarcastic low voice.
Don’t get me wrong I have met some wonderful loving people on Facebook, snap chat, twitter, etc… and I have found some great life coaches and it has been a great way to start my business and my blogs. Yet I have found that it is not the human touch, compassionate, giving all place that it has been touted as. If you step back I am sure you see the same thing. Just because you have 200 people on your friend’s list doesn’t mean they all are your BFF’s, do you really stay in touch will all them their people? Hmmm
I like to get on social media and look for all the positive up lifting stories, and I feel that I am not alone. I don’t want to see the police being picked off by morons, babies being hurt, animals being killed and as much as I love you being my friend, I can’t take the heartbreak of you loosing add the loss here_____________. I am so bombarded by the ugliness of this world, from the 30 minutes fake news, the newspaper of mass destruction, the FDA approved poisons, my food being filled with killing pesticides and GMO’s to none nutrition and I am working on healing myself after numerous doctors, who haven’t a clue how to think outside the books, have misdiagnosed me too many times to count (15), I had an ex who had the loving worth of a Gnat for me, and a mom and Dad that fought 80% of my childhood away……. the very reason I have become numb and distant towards others.
How about you… perfect childhood?
I did feel that way, but when I unhooked the cable from my spinal cord…and in rushed all those feelings, racing back in and I sat and cried, I walked and I cried, for days I woke up from sleeping and cried; I have to reach deep inside of me and grab that frightened little child I had stuffed down and been ignoring for years and hugged her tightly.
I sit with my inner child a lot these days and I promised her that I am there for her and that I will always be the only person who will never leave her. I still see her there, wide-eyed and confused, but she smiles more and she doesn’t look as tattered as she once did. I feel she has more color in her cheeks and she is looking healthy.
WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE CHILD IN US!!! It is the time we turn of the distractions, grab our inner child and sit with them and start to help them heal, or we will never change our situations inside or out.
Please disconnect from the distractions for a few moments and get some fresh air, talk to your heart and listen to it. You would be amazed at how much garbage you can lose in one 12 minute meditation session. You would be amazed at the freedom you will feel from not seeing all those horror stories you allow into your home. Go find that messy, feely, emotional you! I dare you!
Love and hugs