It’s been one of those days that no matter how hard I have tried I couldn’t get to my computer to put thoughts down, and just maybe that’s because they weren’t meant to be put down. It seems like if I try to find the right way to put something down it doesn’t work out. If I start to type then the thoughts come quickly and easily.
Yesterday I had a lot of emotional baggage let go. I felt like I had turned a corner finally on all the hurt happening with me and My daughter. I had been having nightmares going on for the past couple of nights and it was getting to the point where I wasn’t sleeping well.
The night before last I had asked my Angels to stop the nightmares I was having my Grand daughter, I went on to talk to them about, that if they wanted me to do something about the situation, then by God give me the power to do something. I am happy to report the nightmares stopped, instead of nightmares I had a dream of being there with my granddaughter helping her pick out clothes and watching as she danced in delight at how much she loved them. My little Lady Bug loves clothes and she will change as many times as she can into a new outfit. I love it!!
My grand-daughter is the most appreciative little human I have ever witness. Her heart is so big that it can heal a whole nation and I know no matter what nothing can take that away from her. And when she comes back around, Granny and she will take on the world and show it, such love. Nothing takes away love.
The day was good and I was working on my blog, the weather was to be up in the 100’s and it sounded great to get out and head for the hills. I am biased when it comes to my Colorado Mountains, there is nothing like getting back to nature, ground oneself, then driving through a mountain road.
I feel like the Colorado Mountains have a magic to them when I am at odds with what ever it may be in my life and a trip to the mountains has a way of bringing me back to my spiritual center.
The sound of the wind in the shimmering Aspen, the Silver maple or the majestic pine is like an orchestra to my ears. You get far enough into those mountains and you can hear the whisper of the mountains. The breeze is full of the buzzing of busy bugs like honey bee’s, or our very ravenous skitter population, the cry of an Eagle and the hum of the beautiful little humming-bird draw you eyes sky word. You can feel your ancestors out there walking with you as you climb and search for that which you had lost due to everyday life challenges.
My fear of heights was tested to be sure as I had decided to travel Old La Veta Pass. On the top of the pass is an old settlement. This little place called Uptop has been many different entities. I love the little settlement is was so very pretty.
You can find more about its history on a web site I have included down below.
I sat very far from the side of the truck window but was able to stick my phone out and take some pretty pictures. The camera doesn’t do the great height any justice. Let’s just say you don’t want to lose your power steering on any of the curves on this pass.
I am happy to report though I did loose a lot of my fear of careening off the side of the road on that pass. The thought of me sailing off the edge to tumble repeatedly down the sheer cliff finally over took my anxiety and was pleasantly surprised to find that when we went to visit Cuchara I was able to ride up the steep road to Blue Lake without any real issues.
Cuchara and La Veta are nestled in the twin peak valley. The Spanish Peaks are pure magic to me and they were of the native American and Spaniards as well. The peaks are called Wahatoya by the Indians. The Wahatoyas remain the prominent place they were in the time of giants, Indians, Spanish traders, mountain men, trappers, and explorers. I can feel the magic strongly up there. I hope you will take the time to read the links I have included with the history of the town and pass.
History is where we come from…. the what was. It’s great to have a back ground in our lives, yet they do not define us in any way. Every day is a new beginning and our history is just a back ground, nothing more. If I let my history dictate whom I am then I would be this broken, ill, depressed, limited person, who lost her identity when her kids grew up, who boarded up her heart after all those who disappointed her, even though they were just my expectations. I am instead that woman who had three wonderful loving children, I am blessed with grand babies, I have awesome friends, I am taken care of, love to tell it like it is and live each moment with the ever bit of passion that is me. I live with my heart on my sleeve and probably will forever. FOREVER YOU HEAR ME!! lol
Life can be a cruel teacher, but how I react to it becomes the dictator of how much I will learn or how much I will be ungrateful for the growth. I then go on being thankful for that lesson I learned, not turn it inward and stopping the life lessons I came here to learn. Don’t get me wrong there are times when those lessons I am learning hurts like a super nova sunburn… is that descriptive enough on the pain?
My trip to the Spanish Peaks was my time to reflect on what I have going on, deep inside. As I cast my spinner into the calm waters, my only thought was on feeling the heaviness of the strike on my line. I had that excitement and anticipation of the fight that would ensue as soon as that rainbow trout took my bait. Life should be as fun, there is that excitement that builds, then the anticipation of the catch…but there might be that moment when you are let down and what you thought was destined to happen doesn’t. That day I got skunked, no matter what I threw out there in those clear cold waters I didn’t get one hit. Life is like that as well…
I wasn’t devastated, I didn’t throw my pole down and blow up, I didn’t promise God that I was done fishing forever, I didn’t go pick on someone and make them feel bad.
Then why do I see people do these things in their everyday lives? Just because that relationship, job, life lesson fishing trip didn’t turn out, why would I get so upset? It is not life or death if I don’t get my way!!
I will find another way and look forward to the anticipation of each catch!
I reeled in my lure and took a deep breath. I took out my camera and took pictures of my surroundings. I enjoyed the sound of the birds, the rushing water in the stream behind me, the sound of the wind in the pine trees and the mountains speaking. I let the magic of those mountains come in and refresh my soul. My best day working will never hold a candle to my worse day fishing. NEVER!
There is magic in them their hills…… There is magic in them their lessons, you have the power to express how you feel, Mourn the losses, let go of the expectations, breathe in the magic and love, those things are mine to have every day.
Peace and love