NO Drama on my highway

I have challenged myself to look deeper into my true self, I am meditating and write for 100 days straight. I am enjoying sharing what I am discovering.

June 21, 2017

By all means, quantum physics totally rocks. Just don’t let its search for the unifying equation of the cosmos distract you from using it.

I mean, one needn’t know trigonometry to use chopsticks, eh? Gravity was gravity long before Newton, huh? And between now and the time they reveal their little theorem, your thoughts will unceasingly become things, as the entire world spins in the palm of your hand.

Aren’t we amazing?
The Universe

P.S. Thoughts become things, incidentally, is the equation they’re looking for. But let’s not ruin it for them (scientists can be so grouchy).

I get these really cool beautifully written letters from the universe every week day.  There are times that they echo my thoughts to a T.  How can someone who writes these lovingly letters be able to read the very thoughts on my mind, I have asked myself?  The answer is that we all are connected, we just came here to this Earth body to learn how to let go of our own limited thoughts.

I drive people crazy every time I say that sentence up there.   I know from my own thought process I have a had a hard time not putting limitations on myself.  I had pretty strict parents and their job seemed to be to say no to everything.

I love to write and I feel it is in my gene pool as well.  My son has become a great writer as well.  I get so excited when I can chisel out some time and sit and write.

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I wrote poems and then went on to get into journalism in High School.  Yet my Dad was so against my writing. It wasn’t  a real J O B.  My mom loved my stories but usually fell in-line with my Dad and would tell me it was just a hobby and to get a real job.

I forgot how much I loved to write until a wonderful friend I met online got me back into writing.  Again having no support from those around me, I gave it up and set it back into my file folder and went on to try to do other jobs.  Never being happy in the jobs I got and as time went on I suffered from many illnesses.  It was about two years ago that I picked up my writing again, it became that road to freedom I craved so much.

I am able to get up and write every day, I have a goal of writing all that I discover in my healing journey of 100 days.  No matter what I have to get at least one blog in a day.   I meditate while I write.  My writing calms my brain and I am able to leap out of the limited thinking I have going on. I am free and happy in the place of creativity, it is just mine no one else.

 

I stood there this morning on my mountain and watch the neighbor down the end of the hill now, I felt the wind blow my messy hair around. I could feel the left over coolness from the night.  My shirt tickled my skin and I could feel the wet grass under my feet.  The mountains in front of me were purple with patches of green, the sky baby blue becoming dark blue.  I feel the breath enter my lungs and refresh my body.  The pain I had that morning, seemed to melt into the earth and for that one moment with the wind playing with my hair, the birds singing their songs… I am free. Writing does that for me it brings me to my center and helps me to find that freedom I think we all need to feel every day of our lives.

People, places, material objects, degrees, certificates or holidays are not what brings us joy or that place of freedom we feel.  Kyle Cease says is perfectly you don’t get that feeling of letting go of anyone or anything.  It was just you allowing yourself to feel that letting go and enjoying that moment at that time.  Nothing outside of you does that.

I think that we take life too serious at times and life becomes a competition.  I asked my husband today if he could stop making comments after I tell him about the pain or the hurt I may be experiencing at that time.  I asked him to stop the competition that seems to have become a norm for us. He has his days of hurt and I began to notice that I would say something off-handed and hurtful to him.  I don’t like who I have become around him.  I don’t do that to other people, I seem to have no patience for his shenanigans.

I found myself stepping outside of myself and wondering why? Why am I treating him like I am on the offensive all the time?  It is getting really tiresome.   When I saw what was happening, he was saying something means each time I said anything about my health or feelings.  I felt like I had to justify why I felt like I did.

I turned around and would repeat the same offense.  We were having a pissing contest on who hurt the worst.  We are having a pissing contest on who can throw the other one under the bus, how much the other one sucks at this or that.  INCONCEIVABLE  NO ONE should feel bad for how they feel.  And no you don’t have to feel worse or better than the person who is feeling whatever it is they are feeling that day.   STOP IT!!

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It seems to me that I was starving for any kind of affection, I was beginning to notice that even the nasty little digs, as at least something.   Life is not a competition on who can out do, out feel, out love, out hate, out do this or that better!!  I feel like we lost that drive to help one another get to the other side safely and loved.  I want to remove that feeling that I need to make a snarky remark to make me feel more superior.  I look stupid when I do that.  I know it because I feel like a real horses ass when I do it.

I asked for this truce this morning, it happened really fast.  I had said that his hurts are just as important as mine and that there is no reason for us to be trying to out do one another.   The snide comments stopped and you could feel this peace seep into the room.  It was fantastic. NO yelling, no crying, no acting crazy. Just a simple request.

Life is a road to a destination of the most loving act we can give to ourselves. You can fill your life with drama, hurt, depression, unkindness and you can accept those things as you travel your road.  Or you can fill your path with ways that you help you be a kinder, happier,  more love every moment person.  I would rather be that loving person who helped myself learn to let go of limited beliefs.

The way I see it if I can learn to let go of the restrictions of what others put on me, I can help others do the same thing.

Love you,                                                                                                                                                  WWYHS

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