A week for me

I have been doing a week of no Facebook and no news unless weather.  I am trying to meditate in the morning as well. My meditation to me is writing, I’ve love to write about every little thing I think of.  I can’t believe how much old shit, I call it that comes up when you meditate.  The old pains and the old thoughts that I have running like a record in the back of our minds.

One of the fears I have had come up is death, as I face the fact that my mom is and will be passing soon from Alzheimer’s, and the passing of my sister way to soon.  I find that I too am having a problem with the fact of dyeing.  Yet as I stood there by the back door this morning, looking at the picture perfect blue sky,  I am hit with the thought that I am not of this place.  I am only a visitor and have a very short time in the place called, earth.

I get recieve these beautiful little notes, via email,  from the Universe, it is literally called A Note from the Universe; you receive a note from the The Universe once a day. Mine was really so sweet today as I type this revelation I am living.  It says ” should you ever hear your name being called, only to spin around and see absolutely no one…. its most likely one of us, in the unseen, who misses you so much we’ve begun following you around, talking as if you can hear us, waving our arms around excitedly as we speak, and getting so carried away that we’ve ended up volunteering you for “Dancing with the Angels’ by blurting your name out so loud it broke the time-space barrier. oh my!” signed The Universe

As I am clearing from the drama of the fake news, the Facebook Drama reality tv and limited thinking, I am realizing how detached I had become to my heart, that we all are made from.  I came from the very place where we all have come from, born into the human shell, then forced and taught to hear and be the views of others.   Yet as I find we are led by Fake News, corrupted government and limited teachings, my heart spirit screams daily as that deep down feeling of repression becomes too much.  The end result being depression, illness, suicide or to become so disillusioned that one might  or could take a life because of the dissociation we can have happen.

I find as I awakening to my nightmare of not being who I truly am meant to be or want to be, that I was settling for what ever came to me from others.  Yet I am to be free and to be happy.  How simple can it truly be, that once you face those fears, unlearn the limitations that were taught by our parents, school, church and other people’s beliefs we listen too, that our hearts can clear the way and set us back on the right tract. If we are to only shut out the world and listen to that song that is just our’s.  I remind you that those outside forces  had no idea either or the conformity, the falseness or the lies they teach they are just repeating the cycle that they were taught.

I am learning that you can love all those scary things,  but what it is the byproduct you get back… peace.

I don’t have to stay in a relationship that is angry and mad, or not what I want,  a job that is not something I love to do.  I don’t have to fear all that is out there in this world. I don’t have to settle for less than I want because well that’s just life.  Horse Pucky!!!  Where and why would we want to constrict our very lives to nothing but the same old thing day and night? Would it not be better to shake that old apple tree that is me and live a loving fun-filled life than a meh it was ok, I got through it life? I really would rather have loved, experienced, laughed, shared and known I had the best time. Then to have played it safe, saved money because that is the thing to do.

Kyle Cease say’s it so very well.  ” If you think you can’t take that vacation due to the lack of extra funds, or dissolve that relationship that is nothing more than heavy, unloving, and not helping you to become that better person, (nor are they getting the same results) you want to be, because you have been taught it is better to be together for over 15 years even if your miserable… that’s the biggest reason why you should  go on that vacation or get out of that relationship!!”

It’s the scary limited, taught, thoughts that we should face and go after everyday.  I can find a reason to love and let go of the bad job, I can love all the good the bad and the ugly of my relationship, and here’s the great news.  That once I face the bad, the good and the ugly of my situation, it’s going to get better,  what is meant to stay will and what is meant to leave will.

Perfect example… back to my fear today, death.  I say out loud how I fear death, then I heard the thought, yet you are not permanent here.  You are a visitor and you are meant to find ways to over come the limited beliefs you predestined yourself to experience.  I came from a place where there were no limited thoughts.  And it is really hard to experience those limitations, but here is the thing, they are only thoughts! Once you can see that and allow those thoughts to come, your job is to acknowledge them, love them, and then let them go.  So I say… “I love you death”  knowing that death is my way to getting back home.

 Don’t live  your life in the mind of security, live in your heart and you will have all the security you could ever want. 

I sit and look out my window at the mountains and love every color out there, the blues of the sky, the white of the fluffy clouds, the yellow on every soft rose petal, the green of the prairie grasses.  I can hear the birds sing and watch as they sit in my juniper trees happy in their world of flight, yummy seeds and bugs, not worrying, but singing and loving.  Life is meant to be loved and enjoyed, experienced, and not worried to death over, the outcome.  You need to remember your not going to out live life.  So why not love it for all that it is.  Love and light

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