Alone, depressed, sick?

Feeling of being alone happen’s more at Christmas time than any other time?

I don’t believe that for one minute.  I think that at this time in our world we all feel more alone.  There is a void in the human compassion and we are all seeing it and feeling it.  I see my family and many times my husband being completely disconnected to anyone’s needs especially their own.  As a society we are being told what we should be eating and taking medicine wise on a daily basis. No we are not alone far from it,  but we sure are not getting the love and care we should be.

I see such a lack of care and hatred these days. I do not watch the news and my favorite place to catch up on friends and family has become a source of pain and fear.  I am having Panic attacks just trying to get through my news feed without seeing shared feeds on babies murdered by their mother or father.  I can’t speed by fast enough the pain on my friends pages.  I have deleted and unfollowed so many pages it has come to the point that I may just delete my account.

I woke this morning in a sweat just thinking of moving into my new home I have been wanting forever.  Why? It’s crazy to have nightmares of just the everyday things we do in this world.  But that is the way this world has been for sometime.  We fear everything and are offended by those things that shouldn’t take up a minute in our mind.

I wake up wondering how much sorrow I’ll have watching my mom decline from the dementia she suffers with,  or how about my depressed husband who is not happy because of his own choices. {No NO NOOOOO!!}

There comes a time when you need to wake up early, stand there and look out that window watch that sunrise turn the skies pink, purples, red and blues, take a huge deep breath and ask the Divine to step in.

It’s a Brand new day!!! Everyday that you wake up is a new beginning. Yet we would rather sit and be sad and ???

Nope that is not our nature but we forget we can shake off the shackles that we have allowed to engulf us. No we don’t own no-one a living nor do we owe them for our survival!!

Ok so how do we change this misfortune in our lives.   First off get those who are draining you off of you.!!  And no I am not saying run out and get a divorce, unfriend or pack up all your animals and live in a cave in the mountains.  You don’t need to call your friends and ask them to change. Believe it or not that is not the right way to  solve all that is going on in your life.   Of course there comes a time when sometimes you need to allow some people to leave your life with your help.

It comes down to this.  Let those who are in your life to do what they want as long as you don’t allow it to drag you into their drama. And by all means live your life the way you want as long as you’re not dragging them into your drama.

Live and let live?

I have found I am way happier when I control what I have control over.  And the rest ends up in the Divines hands.  I can not make my mom well and I can not make my loved ones lives happy when it all lies with-in their own hands to make their own lives happy.  BUT I don’t have to allow them to make me feel badly because I step back and allow them to deal with their own issues and I can stand up and say NO!

I am learning to let go of the feeling I am having that makes me feel I need to step in and make them a better person,do to my own belief that I am better at being a good person than them.  I am not perfect I am just me I love who I am when I am not listening to others on how I should be!!

I may be ill due to unfortunate events in my life that were not of my control.  BUT I don’t owe anyone for my well-being or my choices on my care.  I am not a number on an insurance form. I have a name and it’s beautiful.  I am a mixed bag of emotions and I am at my best when I am in LOVE with me.

Don’t lose you in this world of confusion, find you and hold tight in these trying times!! Allow others the space to do the same, when they need your hugs and laughter, you’ll be there for them.   Love and light

 

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